Swat Kats – The Radical Squadron – The Video Game

Yeah, yeah, it’s been a while since I’ve done Amiga stuff. I’ll get around to it, I swear. Let me make fun of my own childhood a little more first before I go make fun of some British dude’s.

It’s that time again, boys and girls. That’s right, story time, back in those olden days before I was the bitter old 20-something I am today, shaking his cane and telling all those damn CoD fans to get off of my lawn. Let me tell you about… Swat Kats. Or rather, it’s jank ass video game for the Super Nintendo. But not yet. Let me wallow in my nostalgia for a moment.

The 90's, the decade that dared to say "You know what? Who needs the letter C anyway?"

The 90’s, the decade that dared to say “You know what? Who needs the letter C anyway?”

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The Lunchables/Sega Game Tips VHS

Growing up as a child of the late 90’s to early 2000’s, Lunchables were¬†definitely¬†a thing for me. As much as I wish they weren’t looking back. If you never heard of them, Lunchables are basically a pre-packaged set of processed food you put together to make something resembling food. They also come with candy and a Capri Sun fruit drink, which I dare say would be tastier than the actual thing you make. Still, they make a decent enough alternative to your average lunchroom food any day of the week.

Wow, not even the picture on the box makes that look appetizing. I'm impressed.

Wow, not even the picture on the box makes that look appetizing. I’m impressed.

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Amiga Anarchy: Body Blows/Body Blows Galactic

Hey, kids! Do you like Street Fighter 2? Well, why not spend your hard earned allowance on its new Amiga port?

Actually, let's not.

Actually, let’s not.

So, the Amiga version of Street Fighter 2 has ended up as a complete mockery of everything that made the original great. The replacement of Ken’s girlfriend Eliza with a broom in a dress being just one of the list of grievances. Wipe your tears, though, because Team 17, those people you keep hearing are supposed to be really good at Amiga games, have the game for you!

"Hi, we're Team 17, creators of Worms and pretty much literally nothing else for over 20 years."

“Hi, we’re Team 17, creators of Worms, the series which we must never, ever stop making games for, or we will instantly go bankrupt.”

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Amiga Anarchy: Base Jumpers

So, hey, I’m bored, and I’ve got tons of free time. Here’s an idea: Let’s open some some game I’ve ever played, for some system I don’t know much about, and see what happens. This couldn’t possibly go wrong, could it?

Some people see "tragedy". I see "adventure"!

Some people see “tragedy”. I see “adventure”!

Did I mention I never actually had an Amiga?

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